Category Archives: Humor

Joumblatt’s Post Won The Internet Yesterday

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I laughed so hard at Joumblatt’s “Jean-Blat Van Damme” tweet yesterday and at his tweets last week following Russia’s drills in the Mediterranean that took Lebanon by surprise.

Nevertheless, I keep asking myself every time I see these tweets if we should be really laughing at them given the situation we are in and this man’s position or bashing him for taking things so lightly. But then again no one takes anything seriously in this country unfortunately so why should anyone? Two days ago, a municipality caused a 6-hour traffic on the Jounieh highway because they were burning garbage under a bridge and started a fire yet no arrests were made and everyone was too busy with the fake Jdeideh Christmas decoration the next day.

They say laughter is the best medicine yet I’m not sure how much it will help with all this garbage and diseases around us.


Roadworks In Dbayyeh For The Next Two Weeks: I Kid You Not!

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Christmas season has begun and Dbayyeh malls are already causing traffic, The Village Dbayyeh just opened recently, there’s a storm coming this weekend so the logical thing to do is of course to schedule roadworks in Dbayyeh from 25/11 till 7/12.

Now if you thought that this was a stupid move, wait till you read this headline:


“Avoid the Dbayyeh highway starting tomorrow!”

Why didn’t I think of that before? I’m gonna call work and tell them I’m off for the next couple of weeks because we were told to avoid the Dbayyeh highway. Of course you can always take the Jounieh –> Jeita –> Achkout –> Kolayaat –> Bekfaya –> Elissar –> Jal el Dib road. It’s a very nice road with a lot of beautiful sceneries, just make sure you leave your place at 4 am.


Okay, my rant is over. Enjoy the traffic and expect more “traffic-boosters” during December. Who knows? Maybe they will close down Achrafieh roads a week before Christmas, or close down roads on the way to Faraya right before NYE.

Forget The Lebanese Presidency, We Have Juliana Awada Now

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Since no one really cares about not having a Lebanese President anymore, we can all brag for now about the new first lady of Argentina, Juliana Awada, who’s of Lebanese descent because she’s apparently the closest thing to presidency that we will get this year (and maybe next year). Juliana is the wife of the Mayor of Buenos Aires and newly elected Argentinian President Mauricio Macri. She’s the daughter of Abraham Awada, a Lebanese immigrant native of Baalbeck.

On a serious note, why can’t we have a woman as a president in Lebanon? What’s stopping our female politicians from applying or presenting themselves as potential candidates? I’d love to see a female president in Lebanon one day. For now I’d love to see a president though :)


Forget Garbage, ISIS & Elections: Lebanon Is Making The Longest Man2oushe In The World Today!

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50 years

Amjad school and Socrate Catering will attempt today to make the longest Man2oushe in the world startig 9am. Currently, the longest pasty measures 15.17 m (49 ft 9.24 in) and was achieved by Fuchsia (Saudi Arabia), in Al-Ahsa, Saudi Arabia last year.

The last thing we need is another one of those silly records but then again that’s probably the only thing we can celebrate today since we don’t have a president, our soldiers are still captives, Russians shutdown most of our airspace and the Israeli jets are still violating our airspace on a daily basis. I just hope someone will end up eating this 32-meter long pasty.

Oh and the garbage crisis is still ongoing.

Update: Here’s a couple of pictures from the longest Man2oushe in the world taken From Socrates FB Page.



We Need A New Maurice Every Week In Lebanon

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Maurice via Jimmy

All the Lebanese drivers were wearing seat belts, driving carefully and not using their mobiles yesterday all because of a voice note that was sent to some guy called Maurice. No one knows if it’s a joke or not, but somehow everyone believed the story and became a better driver.

Maybe that’s what we need to make the new traffic law work, a new Maurice every week.

Here’s the original voice note:

And the one that followed:

And one of the many hilarious voice notes that followed:

Someone also shared a traffic fine addressed to Maurice lol!


Four Cartoons by Swaha That Best Describe Today’s Situation in Beirut

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week beirut How Lebanese reacted to the Beirut bombings then the Paris attacks

I’ve been following Swaha’s cartoons for quite some time and they are all intelligent and spot-on!

I chose four recent cartoons but I recommend you check the rest on her FB page [here].

beirut1 Bombings are unfortunately back

fly Garbage is everywhere. East Beirut hit by major fly infestation.

abc lalaland!

The “Official” Angelina Jolie Reply To Najwa Karam

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najwa Hilarious post by Adele_J

Angelina Jolie probably has no idea that she has been making headlines for the past 2 days in Lebanon for statements that she never shared. First everyone starting sharing an unofficial post on her fan page on the Beirut bombings and then Lebanese Singer Najwa Karam decided to thank her for her thoughts by replying to her in Arabic (or Lebanese or some weird dialect only Najwa understands). Another fake Angelina replied back by inviting Najwa to a Lebanese breakfast, but she didn’t confirm back yet.

This clearly upset Jolie who decided to issue an official statement from the UN to address Najwa and the fan page post.

Check the video [here].


Jedbé Bush

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Jeb Bush and Ben Carson have been rivaling Donald Trump for the past few weeks in the stupid department and it looks like Bush is winning big time.

Here’s what he said about Christians in Lebanon:

During the fourth Republican debate, in a call for greater US leadership in the Middle East, Bush declared: “If you’re a Christian, increasingly in Lebanon or Iraq or Syria, you’re gonna be beheaded.”

This reminded me of that infamous Telegraph article where the author quotes some elderly man who warned her not to go to downtown Beirut because “there are Muslims there”.

A New Movement Is Joining The Beirut Protests: #Badna_BALMAIN_Ya_Man

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A group of Lebanese male fashionistas, also known as instainfluenzee7omneldarebanistas, were outraged after BALMAIN X H&M launched its collection today for ladies only and they decided to start a new movement in protest. An urgent meeting will take place tonight at Martyrs Square to decide on the official hashtag but you can use those for now:


We could not reach any of the ladies who stormed the shop as they are still fighting over few items.

PS: In case you missed what happened earlier today at ABC, enjoy :)