Category Archives: Humor

The Perfect Answer To This Tasteless Article On Lebanese Beach Resorts

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article

Almost every sentence in this [article] objectionable or vomit-inducing. I really hope they don’t pay people to write such crap. At first, I wanted to write a lengthy reply but then I found the perfect answer.

So here we go:

To the person who wrote that piece,
– If you truly believe all beach resorts are insanely expensive in Lebanon
– If you are bothered by the “string” and the hot girls in bikinis
– If you have a difficulty ignoring showoffs wou jame3it el “Big Champagne”
– If you have a problem with beach resorts that don’t allow kids
– If you don’t like listening to music or having a DJ entertain you on the beach.

Here’s what you need to do. It’s free of charge, the water is bubbly but there’s no champagne, there’s no music, no girls in bikini and the food if you find any is for free.

piscine

Americans React To Lebanese Singers

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fares

Watch Americans react to the instagram accounts of Nancy Ajram, Myriam Fares, Elissa, Najwa Karam, and Yara. Everyone liked Nancy Ajram, the guys thought Mariam Fares was super hot (she is) and wanted to DM her, Elissa was nicknamed the Madonna of Lebanon (huh?) and all were shocked that Najwa Karam is 50 years old.

If they wanted priceless reactions, they should have included Haifa Wehbe or Miriam Klink maybe.

[YouTube]

Here’s Why It’s Safe To Walk At Night in Lebanon

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mach1

I can’t stop laughing every time I read this [story]. The sad part though is that it’s no longer that safe to walk in the streets at night as a lot of girls are being harassed and the cops are barely doing anything to catch these offenders.

On another note, it’s perfectly safe for a girl wearing a skirt to walk at night in Dubai and there are pubs and night clubs just like Lebanon now.

Lebanon Won Yet Another Award That I Can’t Find Online

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energey

It’s always great to share news about awards and achievements won by Lebanese abroad but I’ve learned out of experience to verify the story before spreading the word. Yesterday I was reading in Annahar about a Lebanese project that won an Energy Globe Award 2016 against 1700 other projects presented.

click bait

This would have been a major achievement and I am sure that Lebanese are capable of doing so, but I couldn’t find any reference or source proving that we won that award. The Energy Globe Award is real and is considered the most prestigious environmental prize worldwide. It basically “distinguishes projects regionally, nationally and globally that conserve resources such as energy or utilize renewable or emission-free sources”.

Every year, the Energy Globe Award is awarded in the 5 categories Earth, Fire, Water, Air and Youth to projects yet Lebanon was not among the winners this year. He was not even among the finalists.

What we did win though is the National Energy Globe Award which is presented to the best project submission of each country. I have no idea how many Lebanese projects were submitted but here what this project is about:

Nutrients are discharged from rivers, inhabited areas and industry, which leads to eutrophication eventually followed by environmental deterioration, and large amounts of carbon dioxide are produced through energy production and emitted to the environment. This year’s National Winner of the Energy Globe Award in Lebanon established a delivery chain for microalgae to ensure the use of micro algae for the production of biodiesel. The project contributes to an enhanced energy self-sufficiency based on renewable resources. Congratulations to your initiative!

I loved the idea but it will be very hard to implement when you have a government who couldn’t figure out how to pick up garbage from the streets for eight months and doesn’t mind dumping garbage in the sea.

PS: If anyone has additional information about this award please do share.

You can read more about this project [here].

The Song You’ve All Been Waiting For: Ya Albi – [Full Lyrics]

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song

So a friend of mine was very bored this morning and sent me the lyrics of “Ya Albi”, the latest hit by our rising star Nabil Harfouch. I counted 54 “Albi”, 15 “Rou7i” and 9 “3omri”. The whole song is basically 6 lines.

Enjoy lol!

Albi
Ya Albi
Albi Albi Albi
Ya Albi

Albi Albi Albi
Albi ya Albi

Albi Albi Albi
Albi ya Albi

Wlak Albi Albi Albi
Albi ya Albi

Albi ma7rou2 wou mekwi
Darbatou akbar berhan

Dammak mich 3am temchi
3el2ani bi Noss el cheryan

Albi Albi Albi
Albi ya Albi

Albi Albi Albi
Albi ya Albi

Ya Albi chou sayir feek
wa7dak bi rou7i tsawik

Ya Albi chou sayir feek

Rou7i inta
3omri inta
Rou7i inta
3omri inta
rou7i inta wou 3omri inta
rou7i inta wou 3omri inta

Ana 3ayish dayib feek

Albi Albi Albi
Albi ya Albi

Wlik Albi Albi Albi
Albi ya Albi

Ya Sakin bi 2akhi
Jira7ak Jira7i

Dawahoun ya Rou7i
Dawahoun ya Rou7i
Dawahoun ya Rou7i
Dawahoun ya Rou7i
Dawahoun ya Rou7i
Dawahoun ya Rou7i

Teskoun feeki
wou eskoun fiyyi

Rou7i inta
3omri inta
Rou7i inta
3omri inta
Rou7i inta
W 3omri inta

Rou7i inta
3omri inta
Rou7i inta
3omri inta

Ana 3ayish dayib feek

Albi Albi Albi
Ya Albi
Albi Albi Albi
Ya Albi

Albi ya Albi