Just like #YouStink demonstrations apparently need to have an etiquette in Lebanon, participants in the National Dialogue session have to abide by a set of rules and regulations in order to make the most out of these sessions. Here are some of them:
– Your convoy should consist of at least 10 cars, including 5 SUVs. Having a super-car lead the way can also help.
– Close down as many roads as possible on your way to the parliament to earn extra points.
– Make sure all your cars are of the same color. Black is recommended. Buy new cars if you must and the government will reimburse you.
– Wait for around 10 minutes before stepping down from your car to feed some reporters with useless content for their click-bait articles.
– Make sure to have 3 extra suits/dresses, 3 pairs of shoes, an automatic ironing machine, a tailor and a shoeshiner on standby just in case.
– Get a pyjama for the after-lunch 1 hour nap.
– Make sure to raise your hand and ask Prof. Berri (aka Al Asteez) for a permission to talk before doing so.
– Time your questions and interventions properly in order not to delay the 9 am, 10:15 am, 11 am, 11:45 am, 12:45 am coffee breaks and 1:30 till 3:30pm lunch break.
– Make sure to use the #NationalDialogueLB hashtag while taking selfies during the discussions.
– Playing games is allowed but avoid them at all cost during coffee breaks in order not to spill coffee or hot beverages on your suit or dress.
– Keep your phone silent in order not to interrupt other participants playing on their phones as well.
– If you signed up for the 5 pm spa treatment, you are kindly requested to bring your own towel.
– If you run over a pigeon with your car by mistake, make sure to confiscate all the cameras around you to avoid embarrassment. Violence against reporters is not recommended.
– Do not tag any other participant on Instagram or Facebook without his/her consent.
– All food allergies must be communicated to the cuisine chef before tomorrow noon.
– If you wish to have lunch outside the dialogue venue, kindly refer to Minister Bou Faour Moutabik-list.
– Bikes will be available outside the parliament for those who get bored of the discussions.
– Feel free to bring your own garlic if you insist on having it with the Chicken Shawarma being served.
– Smoking cigarettes inside the room is prohibited. Only Cigars and Arguile.
– Recycling is strictly prohibited.
– Make sure to leave at peak time in order to cause the biggest amount of traffic possible.
I’m sure you all remember this funny video of an over-excited protester at the early #YouStink protests. Well he showed up again at the Aounist rally organized last week but apparently was drunk and went there by mistake. At least that’s what he told Lebanese Memes. He did sound drunk that’s for sure but he is right about one thing: All these new movements/hashtags, protests and sit-ins are quite confusing and a lot of people are unable to keep up with what’s happening which is not a good thing.
There’s a new #YouStink protest happening on Wednesday while activists are still on a hunger strike for almost a week now. One of them got hospitalized yesterday but got detained for a short while on his way back to Martyrs Square which is totally messed up!
Just like art is immortal, some of our politicians are and have been in the same position for ages. Dictators, popes and presidents come and go, empires fall and we still have the same political class in Lebanon. Marie-Josee Rizkallah is hoping that things will change by 2019 and imagined a museum of art and history at the old Mar Mikhail train station where visitors and young Lebanese can learn about the “garbage era” given the garbage crisis we are currently in.
The paintings are quite hilarious. I’m illustrating some of them and you can check out the rest [here].
I have no idea what demonstration etiquette even means, but someone caught MTV talking about it this morning and started the #اتيكيت_التظاهرات hashtag. I just found the video on MTV and the woman is simply talking about the right to protest and preserve public property in the first few minutes but then she starts discussing (around Minute 10) the proper dress code for a protest and how women should dress nice and look pretty LOL!
I’d like to invite this woman to attend the next #YouStink protest and show us how we can apply this etiquette with water cannons, tear gas canisters around us and hundreds of riot police around us.
These posters are part of a 2010 campaign initiated by NGO Bahr Loubnan and depicting Lebanon’s historical sites covered in trash. The ads were meant to raise awareness on the dangers of marine pollution and prevent Lebanese citizens (and the government) from throwing garbage in the sea and on the coast.
Quoting Bahr Loubnan’s VP Rima Tarabay, she stated that “what people must realize is that this land is for our children and grandchildren. Politics comes and goes, but the land stays, and if we continue [polluting], we will not have this land. We won’t have enough water or any agriculture. Our children will be ill. People are not thinking about the long term. The environment is as important as political and security problems”.
Here’s the solution she suggested back then as well and that would have prevented all these #YouStink protests:
“Our idea is that we should go to the dumpsite, sort the garbage, take off all the solid waste and see how we are going to recycle it. The organic stuff, we keep and pass it through a machine to de-contaminate it. Then, eventually, we’d build a park over the site, a public garden for the people of Saida. The organic waste can make energy to be used for a variety of things.”
Ironically, the campaign was supported by the Ministry of Environment at the time, the same ministry that is turning Lebanon nowadays into a large landfill because of its incompetence and lack of vision.
PS: Garbage tourism will start booming soon in Lebanon. If you want to know more, check this [tutorial].
If you are still wondering where all this garbage is going nowadays, go to the Beirut River and see what’s happening there. It took us years to get rid of the Karantina garbage mountain (technically it’s still there) yet we managed to build a new one within 3 weeks. The smell is already unbearable there and is becoming even worse as trash is piling up everyday. I wonder if the Beirut River Crocodile has decided to move out or not yet.
For those of you who still don’t know how our politicians got us into this mess, check out this great piece by [Matt Nash].
After a “Jon Snow is Alive” poster appeared at the #YouStink protest, the above was posted two days ago on Arya Stark’s Facebook page. Of course it’s a fictional page but it’s quite funny to see pictures of the #YouStink protest there.
Speaking of funny posters and after my post from last week, I got around 5-6 hilarious new posters that I’m sharing here:
I couldn’t find any cool song for the #YouStink protest but a friend of mine shared this old song from 2013 that applies perfectly to the current situation and is pretty awesome! I hope they are panicking 😀