Here’s a hilarious sketch by CHINN’s Abbass Jaafar on the Lebanese passport, the countries that we can fly to without a visa and the tons of documents that we need to prepare to get a short-stay visa. The Lebanese Passport is the world’s 9th worst passport and among the most expensive passports in the world, if not the most expensive. (and the biometric passports are not out yet!)
This reminded me of an old satiric post I wrote when the European Parliament agreed to let UAE citizens travel to Schengen Zone Countries without a visa.
The majority of municipalities in Lebanon are to blame for the garbage crisis as much as the Lebanese government is. They’ve been doing very little to manage and recycle waste throughout the years and the end result was more than 700 illegal and unsafe dump sites. Things got even worse after the 8-month still ongoing garbage crisis when municipalities resorted to opening new unsafe dump sites and burning garbage randomly.
Municipal elections are happening soon and people should hold accountable those who turned valleys and mountains into dump sites, those who leave open manholes and conduct lousy and hazardous road works etc. Municipalities, at least most of them, are failing big time in Lebanon and the below videos by LADE are highlighting this reality as well as the importance of holding municipal elections on time.
If you thought these 5 points were funny, wait till you read this. Some of the remarks of H.E. Mr. Mohammad Machnouk, Environment Minister, at #UNDP 50th anniversary Ministerial meeting:
1- The Lebanese Government has adopted a three-fold approach to prevent environmental
degradation while pursuing developmental efforts:
2- Public participation in the decision-making process in Lebanon has been a key feature of the
Lebanese governance system since the first constitution back in 1926.
More recently, in March 2015, the Government of Lebanon embarked in the preparation of
National Sustainable Development Strategy, using a participatory approach, centered around
7 strategic objectives:
1. Providing a world class human capital
2. Strengthening social cohesion
3. Providing the citizens’ daily priorities
4. Enhancing economic growth
5. Conserving the natural and cultural heritage
6. Promoting good governance
7. Repositioning Lebanon on the Arab, Mediterranean, and international map
Celebrating The Chinese Year Of The Snake – The Largest Snake-shaped Garbage in the world
It looks like our Environment Minister is on his way to New York to take part in the UNDP Conference on Environment. Our minister, a potential candidate for the The “In-Denial Minister” position that will soon be introduced in Lebanon, is keen to show the world how we were able to make use of our garbage crisis to beautify, or should I say Zbelify, our cities and towns.
In fact, the Zbelification of Lebanon is expected be the hottest topic in New York where world environment ministers were invited to gather and discuss educational and environmental issues. The Lebanese officials are planning to showcase their genius plan to stop garbage collection, drop all recycling methods and engage in garbage art.
Here’s a glimpse of The Zbelification process that is already underway:
The Lebanese Zbele pyramid, the tallest and largest garbage pyramid ever built – Opening By end of 2016
Encouraging Live garbage art all around Lebanon
Improving sightseeing in Lebanon by introducing Beit Mery’s garbage dumping show. Trucks dumping all sorts of garbage and garbage burning sessions will be available for all visitors
Pop garbage art around famous memorials and sites
Organizing garbage flash mobs to promote co-existence between all groups regardless of their color and shape.
The funniest comedian by far in Lebanon – Fady Reaidy
Every time there’s a new comedy-oriented talk show in Lebanon, I watch the first couple of episodes to see if it’s any good or as lame as the other ones. Back in 2013, I had high hopes for Adel Karam’s show because I loved his character on SLCHI and he did start with a couple of decent episodes but after that it was all down hill. Hisham Haddad’s LOL was never funny and I’m not a fan of his new show as well. Arze’s new show barely lasted a couple of months before it got stopped and of course Rodolphe’s show not only failed to impress but was a ripoff of Ellen’s show.
So what do talks shows in Lebanon, at least most of them, have in common?
1- The hosts are never funny. They all have this same “jale2a” trait and have a massive ego.
2- The band is usually funnier than the host. One example is 3as3us on Arze’s show, Anthony and Shant are hilarious but Arze was terrible.
3- Audience clapping is never in sync. The audience (Age range 12-16) also laughs randomly even when there are no jokes being told.
4- North Korea’s Kim Jong-un is a popular topic on these shows. Don’t ask me why.
5- The funny YouTube videos they show are at least 10 years old.
6- They steal most of the jokes from social media and pretend the jokes are theirs.
7- When the ratings are low, they get Myriam Klink or Mariam Nour.
8- Guests are always dressed up for a wedding.
9- Teleprompter abuse: They never improvise.
10- They bash all politicians then welcome them and praise them.
Let’s take a moment to applaud the person who read this story, thought it was worth sharing and took the time to translate and publish it online, and I’m not just talking about MTV here. I think it’s about time we come up with the Durex D’or awards, to congratulate these people and shed the light on these life-changing and mind-boggling stories.
If you want more “insights” on the “Mystery ejaculator at a Hanoi swimming pool”, here’s the original [link].
After reviewing the CCTV footage closely, we observed an unknown male on a balcony overlooking the pool who is now a person of interest,” commented the security manager at the condominium. The manager refused to confirm speculation that the man was caught on video ejaculating into the pool, but a witness at the party claims this was the case. “I was lying on a sun lounge and taking a nap, when I was woken by a feeling of liquid hitting my back,” reported Ms Chau Thi Tuyen, who attended the party with friends. “At first I thought it was suntan lotion, but I looked up and caught a glimpse of a naked man on a balcony.”
PS: Other reports are saying a fish got pregnant in the process as well.
American Hip Hop artist Kanye West caused a twitter storm few days ago when he announced that he was $53 million in personal debt, and that he wants the world to know his struggle. He also asked Facebook Founder Mark Zuckerberg for $1 billion to keep making art lol!
Needless to say, he’s probably bluffing and just seeking attention but the sad part is that some of Yeezy’s biggest supporters start GoFundMe page to raise money for Kanye West and get him out of his debt.
It’s one thing to get inspired from a popular show like The Ellen DeGeneres Show, but it’s another to steal the whole freaking show and pretend it’s yours. After the Lebanese Art Police shared a video showing the similarities between Rodolphe’s Show and Ellen’s show, an article mentioned that “The Show” will not broadcasted this week and that LBCI are considering stopping it after they got warned by The Ellen DeGeneres Show producers.
The only sure thing for now is that Rodolphe’s “Ripoff Show” is off for this week, but I doubt that the people behind The Ellen Show are warning LBCI. In fact, I doubt that they even heard of Rodolphe or his show and even if they did, they couldn’t care less about it.
If you missed the original video, check it out it’s hilarious 😀