Category Archives: Humor

How To 69 On The Saida Highway

Posted By :

69

There are three things that came to mind while watching this video:
1- Where are the cops on that road? It’s one of the busiest ones in all of Lebanon.
2- Why doesn’t he have a license plate on the bike?
3- Last but most importantly, who’s the guy filming all these stunts? Why doesn’t he try to film them as landscape?

[YouTube]

EU Sets 10 Conditions To Grant Lebanon Visa-free Travel in Schengen Zone Countries

Posted By :

shenghen

As you all probably heard by now, UAE citizens will no longer require a visa to travel to Schengen Zone Countries, after the European Parliament approved their proposal back in June last year. Needless to say, the Lebanese weren’t very fond of this decision and filed an official complaint to the EU claiming that they deserve this more than other Arab countries, specially after a study proved that Lebanon is indeed the centre of the universe, and given that Beirut was once known as the “Paris of the Middle East”.

In order to calm things down, and given how crucial Lebanon’s economy and tourists are to the European Union, the EU held an emergency meeting and agreed to grant Lebanese a visa-free access to Schengen Zone Countries if its citizens agree to abide by the following 10 conditions:

1- Lebanese will stand in line while boarding an airplane.
2- Lebanese will not fake bank statements or 5 star hotel reservations in their Schengen application.
3- Lebanese will not attempt to bribe the security guard at embassies.
4- Lebanese will not apply to a different country than the one they are going to.
5- Lebanese will not change seats on the airplane and confuse the hostesses.
6- Lebanese will not attempt to carry a 50kg luggage into the airplane as a carry-on
7- Lebanese will no longer clap when the plane lands.
8- Lebanese will not play loud Arabic music (or sing a mouwwel) on the airplane.
9- Lebanese will not attempt to smuggle keshek or basterma.
10- Lebanese will not schedule five different appointments on the same day to avoid waiting in line.

(PS: Satire Disclaimer)

Nara Ya Watan

Posted By :

11178308_430587383780570_332897775807619517_n

I didn’t want to share this picture before knowing if it’s and old or recent one, and it turned out to be an old one according to the ISF who stated that the police officer got reprimanded back then. However, the problem is that such officers are probably still breaking the law and I wouldn’t be surprised to see recent pictures of such incompetent policemen.

The good news though is that the ISF is listening and taking action from time to time, so let’s keep on reporting these corrupt officers and respecting the new traffic law.

Lebanon Ship (Fatmagul) Seen As Savior To Power Starving Ghanaians

Posted By :

fatmag

The above screenshot is taken from the front page of the DailyGuideGhana and shows a picture of the Turkish power ship Fatmagul currently docked near the Zouk Power plant in Lebanon. Apparently Ghana has an electricity crisis and its Power Minister is seeking help from Turkey through emergency power barges.

I think it’s funny that the ship looks Lebanese because of the flag and that some people might think we are able to provide electricity to other countries. I just hope that Fatmagul won’t suffer from electricity blackouts just like it did in Lebanon! If it does, we will gladly send other some generator owners from Zahle since they are unemployed at the moment 😀

Some selected Ghanaian journalists have been touring Lebanon to see the power ship built by Karpowership of Turkey at the cost of $700 million. The trip, which will take them to Istanbul in Turkey, is being sponsored by the manufacturing company. Karpowership is the same company constructing the power barge for the Electricity Company of Ghana (ECG). But the company says it is not an emergency power barge because it is not part of the programme.

The Power Minister, Dr Kwabena Donkor, had told journalists early this year that emergency power barges were expected from Turkey to cushion the crisis that is running down businesses and causing deaths. Mr O’Driscoll said the Karpowership has a power purchase agreement with the Electricity Company of Ghana and is working within the time frame of the pact. The ECG signed the 10-year power deal with the Turkish company last year to deliver 450 megawatts of power to boost the ailing power sector which appears to defy all solutions. The barges are to bridge the gap of Ghana’s energy needs and bring to an end the power crisis which has come to be known and accepted as dumsor-dumsor.

Thanks Mustapha!

#RealityCheck: Are You Armenian? Do You Eat Basterma?

Posted By :

pierre

Are you Armenian? Do you eat a lot of spices? Do you live in Bourj Hammoud? Do you eat Basterma a lot? Bto2rabak Kim Kardashian?

These are all real life questions that are often asked to Lebanese-Armenians based on stereotypes that are generally untrue and are not as funny as some people think they are. The below video is meant to spread a message against stereotyping in a funny way and includes several known Lebanese-Armenian personalities such as Pierre Chammassian (this guy is hilarious), Roy Malakian, Paula Yacoubian, Sandra Arslanian, Shant Kababian, Guy Manoukian and others …

[YouTube]

Thanks Bouchra!

Epic Fail: Lindsay Lohan Thought Inta 7mar Means You’re Beautiful

Posted By :

img_8019 The picture was deleted later on from her account

So Lindsay Lohan wanted to post an inspirational quote on her Instagram account and shared one that says “You’re Beautiful إنت حمار”. She figured out the mistake few minutes later and deleted it but it was too late as everyone started mocking her.

The comments are hilarious.

lol

ll

Thanks Carla!

Haifa Wehbe “Breathing You In” Lyrics Revealed (MindBlown)

Posted By :

Haifa

A friend of mine got really bored in traffic today and sent me the lyrics of Haifa Wehbe’s latest song “Breathing you in”. It’s basically 4 short meaningless lines and “just breathing you in” on repeat. To be honest, I think she should stick to Arabic but if that’s what her fans want then good for her. After all, Lebanese rapper Kiki C ain’t got nothing on her!

Lyrics aside, I wish someone could explain to me what the hell is happening in that video clip though. What’s with all these Interstellar and Gravity scenes? It reminded me a bit of an old Maya Diab video.

Love me now Love me past the end of time
Turn me up find my frequency
You breathe me in Take me as a I am
give me a sign show me that our love is one

Cause I’m just breathing you breathing you in
you get me started when you begin
just breathing you in
just breathing you in
just breathing you in
just breathing you in
just breathing you in in in in
just breathing you in
just breathing you in
just breathing you in
just breathing you in in in in in in in
just breathing you in

Breathing you in in in in
Breathing you in in in in
Breathing you in in in in
Breathing you in in in in
Breathing you in in in in
Breathing you in in in in
Breathing you in in in in
Breathing you in in in in

Loud and clear I hear you I feel no one when I’m with you
I feel closer when we are far with out weightless care-free love

Cause I’m just breathing you breathing you in
you get me started when you begin
just breathing you in
just breathing you in
just breathing you in
just breathing you in in in in
just breathing you in
just breathing you in
just breathing you in
just breathing you in in in in in in in
just breathing you in

Cause I’m just breathing you breathing you in
you get me started when you begin
just breathing you in
just breathing you in
just breathing you in
just breathing you in in in in
just breathing you in
just breathing you in
just breathing you in
just breathing you in in in in in in in
just breathing you in
just breathing you in
just breathing you in
just breathing you in
just breathing you in in in in
just breathing you in
just breathing you in
just breathing you in
just breathing you in in in in in in in
just breathing you in

PS: I think he might have missed a couple of just breathing you ins but it’s ok.

[YouTube]

April Fools’ Tweet Of The Day Goes To Walid Joumblatt

Posted By :

Oscar

I’m still finding it hard to believe that Walid Joumblatt is writing these tweets. As I said earlier, he’s the only Lebanese politician writing funny and interesting tweets while all others are boring.

Here’s what he said:

Jumblatt

On a more serious note, Executive Magazine wrote today about plans for a new capital to invigorate the Lebanese government. If this plan works, it will make Beirut unsuitable for local politicians and foreign emissaries to live and work in haha!