Category Archives: Humor

Six Things You Didn’t Know About The #Tol3etRi7etkon Guys

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I’m sure you’ve all read the detailed report on the #YouStink founders and how they are all part of one organization that is funded by the CIA, FBI, MI5, NSA, DIA, ABIN, MSS and tens of other NGOs and agencies. Here’s a list of things that the article failed to mention and that I’m sharing with you exclusively:

1- They have been fueling the violent events in Ferguson:
ferguson

After the online storm that he caused due to his anti-religious comments, Assaad Thebian went off the radar for few days and was spotted in Ferguson leading the protests against the police.

2- They helped Mexico’s Most-Wanted Drug Lord escape prison:
hole

Following their extensive field experience in building smuggling tunnels in Egypt, the #YouStink organizers were recruited by drug kinpin El Chapo and helped him escape Mexico’s most secure prison.

3- Greek Anti-Government Riots
greek-riots-10

An exclusive non-photoshopped picture showing one of the #YouStink members holding a Menapolis banner at the forefront of a protest in Greece back in 2011.

4- They are secretly employed by a chicken company:

Rumors have spread that Trella, also known as Imad Bazzi, has orchestrated all these protests as a marketing stunt for a new restaurant “Frarij House” that’s opening soon. The new snack specializes in chicken sandwiches and offer special delivery to protesters and discounted prices to riot police members.

5- One of the members was launching a gym soon.

Bazzi’s involvement in the fast food industry has caused one of the key founders of the #YouStink movement to resign few days ago due to a conflict of interests. Top-secret documents and reports stated that Bazzi had enough from this mysterious member, whose name cannot be revealed for security reasons, especially after finding out about the secret fitness trackers that he’s been distributing to protesters to measure their endurance and encourage them to join his newly open gym. Bazzi refused to comment on this story.

6- Getting Myriam Klink to presidency is their original plan

This explains why Lara Kay felt threatened and decided to protest on her own few days later.

All in all, I may not agree with #YouStink and all their demands, yet I cannot but laugh at all these fabricated stories and conspiracy theories. If these guys were truly funded by all these agencies, organizations and NGOs, they should be probably be fired for not doing enough lol!

Mr Lebanon 2015 Candidate Genius Solution To The Garbage Crisis

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lol

I feel so stupid right now. I’ve been brainstorming for months now on how to resolve the garbage crisis but I never considered such a simple and straight forward solution. This guy deserves a Nobel Prize for his ground-breaking solution!

Check it out [here] if you don’t believe me.

If you can’t watch the video, check below from Minute 1:45:00.

[YouTube]

Lebanese National Dialogue Etiquette

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parliament Screenshot taken from the song – Panique bil parlement

Just like #YouStink demonstrations apparently need to have an etiquette in Lebanon, participants in the National Dialogue session have to abide by a set of rules and regulations in order to make the most out of these sessions. Here are some of them:

– Your convoy should consist of at least 10 cars, including 5 SUVs. Having a super-car lead the way can also help.
– Close down as many roads as possible on your way to the parliament to earn extra points.
– Make sure all your cars are of the same color. Black is recommended. Buy new cars if you must and the government will reimburse you.
– Wait for around 10 minutes before stepping down from your car to feed some reporters with useless content for their click-bait articles.
– Make sure to have 3 extra suits/dresses, 3 pairs of shoes, an automatic ironing machine, a tailor and a shoeshiner on standby just in case.
– Get a pyjama for the after-lunch 1 hour nap.
– Make sure to raise your hand and ask Prof. Berri (aka Al Asteez) for a permission to talk before doing so.
– Time your questions and interventions properly in order not to delay the 9 am, 10:15 am, 11 am, 11:45 am, 12:45 am coffee breaks and 1:30 till 3:30pm lunch break.
– Make sure to use the #NationalDialogueLB hashtag while taking selfies during the discussions.
– Playing games is allowed but avoid them at all cost during coffee breaks in order not to spill coffee or hot beverages on your suit or dress.
– Keep your phone silent in order not to interrupt other participants playing on their phones as well.
– If you signed up for the 5 pm spa treatment, you are kindly requested to bring your own towel.
– If you run over a pigeon with your car by mistake, make sure to confiscate all the cameras around you to avoid embarrassment. Violence against reporters is not recommended.
– Do not tag any other participant on Instagram or Facebook without his/her consent.
– All food allergies must be communicated to the cuisine chef before tomorrow noon.
– If you wish to have lunch outside the dialogue venue, kindly refer to Minister Bou Faour Moutabik-list.
– Bikes will be available outside the parliament for those who get bored of the discussions.
– Feel free to bring your own garlic if you insist on having it with the Chicken Shawarma being served.
– Smoking cigarettes inside the room is prohibited. Only Cigars and Arguile.
– Recycling is strictly prohibited.
– Make sure to leave at peak time in order to cause the biggest amount of traffic possible.

A Protester Confused By All These Demonstrations In Beirut

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aoune

I’m sure you all remember this funny video of an over-excited protester at the early #YouStink protests. Well he showed up again at the Aounist rally organized last week but apparently was drunk and went there by mistake. At least that’s what he told Lebanese Memes. He did sound drunk that’s for sure but he is right about one thing: All these new movements/hashtags, protests and sit-ins are quite confusing and a lot of people are unable to keep up with what’s happening which is not a good thing.

There’s a new #YouStink protest happening on Wednesday while activists are still on a hunger strike for almost a week now. One of them got hospitalized yesterday but got detained for a short while on his way back to Martyrs Square which is totally messed up!

The Museum of Art and History – Beirut 2019

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mmachnouk

Just like art is immortal, some of our politicians are and have been in the same position for ages. Dictators, popes and presidents come and go, empires fall and we still have the same political class in Lebanon. Marie-Josee Rizkallah is hoping that things will change by 2019 and imagined a museum of art and history at the old Mar Mikhail train station where visitors and young Lebanese can learn about the “garbage era” given the garbage crisis we are currently in.

The paintings are quite hilarious. I’m illustrating some of them and you can check out the rest [here].

Jumblatt

Aoun

Saad Hariri

Frangieh

amine sami