I honestly didn’t know what to write on this date or whether I wanted to write at all. I ended up preparing a small photo album, going through hundreds of old pictures of dad during Christmas, weddings, birthdays, family gatherings and holidays. It was painful going through all these pictures but it brought back some good memories. After all, memories are all we have left and they help ease the pain sometimes.
Even though a year passed, I still remember my brother calling me from Portland on May 22nd at 3AM to tell to head to the hospital and see what’s happening. Him being a doctor, my mum called him first because she didn’t think it was that serious and didn’t want to wake me up. It’s a night I want to forget but I know that’s not gonna happen.
Here’s a little text my brother wrote:
I can’t believe it’s been a year since you left us. No warning, no last words, no chance to say goodbye. They keep telling me time heals all wounds, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. Day in and day out, I miss you more…day in and day out, it feels like it hurts a little bit more. I find myself picking up the phone to call, like I used to so many times, just to chat, just to say hello… I know you won’t answer this time, but I would be lying if I said I have accepted this…you left with so much more planned, you left when my brothers and I were just about to start making you proud…you left when it was time for you to take a break and just enjoy life without work, time to spend with family, time spent doing the things you and mom always wanted to do…time for you to stop worrying about the day to day work problems…
My brothers and I will continue to do all we can to make you, make mom proud…you left behind three boys that really looked at you as more than a father, you were and will always be our friend…someone we could blindly rely on, someone we could turn to for advice and you will always know exactly what to say and do…and we miss that, we miss the talks, the laughs, and the struggles we went through and got through together…I find myself asking “What would Bob do?” when faced with a problem, and just the thought of that sometimes pulls me through rough times…we all will continue to honor your memory Dad…we all will continue to look after mom the best we can, and try to bring joy back into her life…either through us or our children, who you loved so much….and who miss you without knowing how to say it…everything we do from here on is a tribute to you, because without your sacrifices we would have never made it anywhere…I just wish you could be here to see it…and I want to believe you wish that too…Love you Bob…always
