I don’t think there’s anything that can prepare you for the loss of a parent. I surely wasn’t prepared, no one was prepared for my father’s sudden death. It was a large blow for all his friends, colleagues and of course his family. I tried my best to stay strong for my mother and brothers but his death triggered a profound and complicated type of grief. I just couldn’t help crying my heart out when doing the hospital papers, going through the funeral arrangements, selecting and printing a couple of pictures for him and of course the funeral procession.
His loss was extremely difficult but death is part of our life and we need to accept it and move on, for our own sake and the sake of our loved ones. I know it won’t be easy but I want to believe that the most difficult part is behind us and that I must cope with things the way my dad did throughout his life.
My dad also lost his father at a young age, he lost his 22 year old brother as well in a tragic car accident. He lost his house and everything he owned during the war. He lost plenty of friends and family during the civil war. He lost his mother almost 15 years ago. He had to leave his hometown, start all over again, work day and night to provide for us. At one point, he was working 3 jobs yet he’d always come back home smiling. Both my parents sacrificed their best years to raise my brothers and I, to give us the best education and get us whatever we desired. He never complained, he always tried to make the best out of everything and made sure we never argue over anything in the family. He would brag about us every time we graduated or got a new degree. He was the happiest man in the world when my brother got married and then when I did, he was dancing tirelessly all night and welcoming everyone. He flew all the way to the US and cried tears of joy when his first grand child, Sophia was born. When Brian was born, he was on top of the world.
He helped everyone around him in every possible way. He was always friendly, always polite and positive. He’d always throw in a joke to lighten things up. In fact, what has always inspired me to stay positive throughout all these years is my dad first and foremost. We often complain about life and problems around us, but we tend to forget what our parents went through and how our worries are minimal when compared to theirs.
Today marks my third wedding anniversary. I will be accepting condolences instead of celebrating the occasion with my dad and the whole family. Brian’s first birthday also coincides with the 40 day memorial. I don’t believe in coincidences but maybe that’s my dad’s way of telling us to remember him in happy times only and live life to the fullest just like he did.
I am not as strong as my dad was but I’ll try to be. We will try to be as a family and remember the wonderful things we experienced together. Talking about it helps and that’s why I’m writing this post. I always felt more comfortable keeping such personal issues for myself but my first post and the tons of messages that I received helped enormously so I thought of letting it all out.
I hope that the rest of your lives and your loved one’s lives be long, happy and healthy.