I don’t think there’s anything that can prepare you for the loss of a parent. I surely wasn’t prepared, no one was prepared for my father’s sudden death. It was a large blow for all his friends, colleagues and of course his family. I tried my best to stay strong for my mother and brothers but his death triggered a profound and complicated type of grief. I just couldn’t help crying my heart out when doing the hospital papers, going through the funeral arrangements, selecting and printing a couple of pictures for him and of course the funeral procession.
His loss was extremely difficult but death is part of our life and we need to accept it and move on, for our own sake and the sake of our loved ones. I know it won’t be easy but I want to believe that the most difficult part is behind us and that I must cope with things the way my dad did throughout his life.
My dad also lost his father at a young age, he lost his 22 year old brother as well in a tragic car accident. He lost his house and everything he owned during the war. He lost plenty of friends and family during the civil war. He lost his mother almost 15 years ago. He had to leave his hometown, start all over again, work day and night to provide for us. At one point, he was working 3 jobs yet he’d always come back home smiling. Both my parents sacrificed their best years to raise my brothers and I, to give us the best education and get us whatever we desired. He never complained, he always tried to make the best out of everything and made sure we never argue over anything in the family. He would brag about us every time we graduated or got a new degree. He was the happiest man in the world when my brother got married and then when I did, he was dancing tirelessly all night and welcoming everyone. He flew all the way to the US and cried tears of joy when his first grand child, Sophia was born. When Brian was born, he was on top of the world.
He helped everyone around him in every possible way. He was always friendly, always polite and positive. He’d always throw in a joke to lighten things up. In fact, what has always inspired me to stay positive throughout all these years is my dad first and foremost. We often complain about life and problems around us, but we tend to forget what our parents went through and how our worries are minimal when compared to theirs.
Today marks my third wedding anniversary. I will be accepting condolences instead of celebrating the occasion with my dad and the whole family. Brian’s first birthday also coincides with the 40 day memorial. I don’t believe in coincidences but maybe that’s my dad’s way of telling us to remember him in happy times only and live life to the fullest just like he did.
I am not as strong as my dad was but I’ll try to be. We will try to be as a family and remember the wonderful things we experienced together. Talking about it helps and that’s why I’m writing this post. I always felt more comfortable keeping such personal issues for myself but my first post and the tons of messages that I received helped enormously so I thought of letting it all out.
I hope that the rest of your lives and your loved one’s lives be long, happy and healthy.
Thank you for sharing something personal in a long while (actually I never think I read something personal -that personal- coming from you).
May you live your life with your dad’s smile and positive attitude being your drive.
I pray that he is in a better place and may you and your family, especially your mother, have the patience, faith and mostly the will to pursue life and cherish his memory in every happy occasion.
Najib, we don’t know each other but I feel your loss. My dad just went through an illness and it was a very difficult time for us. He is good now and I am trying to make the most out of every moment i still have with him. Our fathers are the most important icons in our lives. Thank you for sharing your words with us. By sharing your grief, I hope we can make it a bit more bearable for you.
Hey Najib, been following your blog for few years now.. being in Canada thats the only news about Lebanon that i get. I avoid politics & religon and the negativity around both. Thats why i don’t watch any of the Lebanese channels or follow them online. You give me a light and positive version of Lebanon. Just like your dad did to you, and thats why i follow your blog. My Condolences
Hi Najib, I have been reading your blog for the longest time every since you have been collaborating with Mark and this would be my very first comment on your blog. I’m sorry for your loss, may your dad’s legacy, influence and memory stay with you for as long as his greatness is remembered. Your post is quite heartfelt and quite touching, I do hope that you stay strong through everything that come your way in the future and may you and your family find peace, prosperity and live the longest, healthiest and happiest of lives. Our prayers are with you all the way from Oman. Take care.
Here’s to all the dads who left us early :'(
Thank you for sharing this personal moment with the world. It helps us all to know we are not alone in time of life and death. Prayers for a better tomorrow.
Your recognition to your dad really touched me. I wish you to be this great father to your son, and i am sure you will.
Take it easy … I read all your post carefully … Hope your new page … To accept facts of life… Sorry and cheer up… Even to show you are a strong son… Sorry for your great loss
ilie khal-laf, ma met. allah yirham Bob wa allah tawil 3amrokon