With Mother’s Day approaching, I thought I share this hilarious article from last year by RAGMAG’s Sarah Hourany:
Diagnostic Symptoms of Lebanese Mama Syndrome (LMS)
1. Replacing the son’s first name with the word “Yo2borné”.
2. Obsessive tendency to call Yo2borné every hour to check if he’s eaten and rested.
3. Correlation between her bedtime and Yo2borné’s even if this means going to sleep at 6am (when he gets back home after a wild party), or not sleeping at all.
4. Underestimation of every girl Yo2borné dates, beginning with her looks (even if she looks like Megan Fox) to her level of intelligence (even if she is a PhD candidate or a CEO of a reputable company).
5. Unfounded suspicions that Yo2borné’s wife is not feeding him. (Even if he has developed a big Kerech since he got married)
6. Irrational feeling of anxiety if Yo2borné is 10 minutes late, accompanied by dramatic imaginings of potential accident scenarios.
7. Intense and spontaneous outbursts of weeping in the following situations:
• When Yo2borné catches the flu (even if his 5 sisters are sick as well).
• If Yo2borné travels for a few short days (even if this is the case every month, and has been the case for the past 5 years).
8. Unexplained competitive behavior with his girlfriend or wife in the following fields: cooking, washing, ironing and cleaning.
9. Deep belief that human beings can reproduce themselves without a partner. (This symptom usually manifests after Yo2borné begins having cute children of his own who only have HIS geneschu nsito enno l 2ered bi 3eyn 2emmo ghazel?)
10. Permanent attempts to please Yo2borné and create a perfect world for him, ignoring the rest of the family, and normally associating “Yes” as a chronic answer to all of his demands.