During the past few weeks, I pretty much spent my days and nights calling support to fix my internet, whether it was Ogero or Connect or Wise. While I was waiting for my Ogero cable to get fixed, I thought I give the broadband services another try but when I heard the excuses they were giving me for the shitty connection I’m getting, I remembered why I dropped them all and stuck to Ogero as it’s more stable and cheaper. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still not satisfied at all with my DSL speed but I had to settle for it after years of trying every single internet provider out there (Wise, Connect, IDM, Sodetel, local cable guy and so on)

So here are some of the excuses we’re still hearing unfortunately:

1- Baytak b3eed 3an el centrale (Your house is far from the CO): I’m aware that it’s a valid reason due to Abdel el Menhem’s shitty management but it still cracks me up. What are we supposed to do? measure the distance to the centrale before buying an apartment?

2- Fi Daghet 3al chabake (heavy load on the network): This usually happens when your internet provider has 5000 users on a network that only allows 500.

3- Bit koun al kahraba d3eefe (Check your electricity): Sure I’m gonna call EDL on their non-existing hotline or the moteur guy see how he can help.

4- Bikoun 7ada 3am bichawich 3lek. 3andak chi Makana gher? (Someone is jamming your signal): Unless you have a politician or military men living nearby, I have no idea who could possibly jam my signal.

5- Bikoun el Facebook/Google/YouTube we2if: When you run out of excuses, el 7a2 3al Amerken.

6- Ma ta3mlo ktir download, sakker facebook, taffeh YouTube (Check if your kids are doing some downloads): Yes that’s the whole purpose of the internet, DOWNLOADING stuff!

7- Fa7asneha men 3enna w ma beha shi (You have a problem, everything looks good from our end): Deal with it lol!

8- Ba33id el router 3an el berrad (Keep the router away from the fridge): True story I swear!

9- Kam 7ett fi baynak wou ben el modem (There are lots of walls between you and the modem): I’m usually standing right next to the modem when I’m calling and still I get such excuses. Of course we all know walls can affect the WIFI but I think the majority of Lebanese live in small apartments not in villas or large houses.

10- Badde 7attak 3a gher chabake (I’m gonna put you on a different channel): Whenever you hear this excuse, it means you’re screwed. Change the provider immediately LOL!