I’ve been trying for almost a year now to start using Snapchat on a regular basis but I am unable to. I don’t know what I’m doing there, I don’t see the point of Snapchat and I never feel like snapping anything. Unfortunately, most of my friends are there now so I’m always curious to see what’s happening there but then I lose interest right away.

So how can I stay active there? I thought that the only way to snap more often is by redoing all these annoying and pointless things I see on Snapchat, so here’s what I will do:

1- I will make you dizzy during parties
Whenever I’m at a party or concert, I will share low-quality 360 videos that are guaranteed to make you dizzy. The voice will also be lousy because that’s how we roll on Snapchat.

2- I will show you how to open a box with one hand
Unboxing gifts and tech items is a whole new experience on Snapchat. No other social media platform gives you the privilege of opening things with just one hand because you can usually upload things after you film them, but you can’t do that on Snapchat because it’s so cool.

3- I will eat my meals with one hand:
This is also a very unique skill that I will hopefully master soon on Snapchat. It will probably take weeks of practice but no one will know how good you’ve become because your snaps will gone by then.

4- I will show you my bed and my bathroom occasionally
Now who wouldn’t want to see that? Seriously?

5- I will pretend to have tons of fans and answer their questions:
You can pretend to the most popular guy out there on Snapchat and no one can prove you wrong. I will dedicate one hour every week to answer all the questions that my fans will be sending me or just come up with questions and answer them anyway.

PS: I will answer fans while jogging as well to show that I’m healthy and stuff.

6- I will read 2 full pages of a Paulo Coelho book every night:
I have to increase my score on Snapchat even though I don’t know what these points stand for or if I’ll ever use them.

7- I will state the obvious:
If I’m having a coffee or a burger or a pizza, I will let you know that I’m doing so. Please don’t bother ask about the ingredients or if it’s good or not because this is too much information for Snapchat users.

8- I will wish you a good morning and good night every single day … twice!
I love my fans and I want them to have a good day and night. Also snaps are gone after 24 hours so it makes perfect sense to snap the same things every day. Why twice? Because I have followers in the US and Australia and I have to respect the time differences.

PS: I will show you the time during these snaps in case you don’t have a watch or are too lazy to read the time on your phone.

9- I will share one motivation snap every day to inspire my friends and fans.
It will be in Arabic or French in order to sound more wise.

10- I have no idea what I’m doing there
I guess that’s the best reason to follow me or anyone there.